PTC Collaborative feedback on Anzac Imagery Poems

Today we focused on reworking our writing through the use of student editing feedback. We have been working intensely on creating quality writing and positive feedback from our peers. Students have reworked the poems three times now, Editing with themselves, their mixed ability buddies,students shared their learning then in small groups having someone else read their poem, to see if what they wrote was what they actually wanted to hear, lastly we had a teacher student conference. Our aim was to use language that would provoke the audience to create a clear picture of what was happening on the page. The end result was amazing, although it was a long process over three day. I would diffidently do this form of editing again with the students. The results were amazing, students were proud and quality was there. I would like to try and do this again using creative writing on an open topic so that they can write on what interests them.

 Life of a Soldier
Sorrow blankets the air, like thick fog,
Pain and grief was made.
Hopelessness, strikes the soldiers like lighten.
 Stories and letters fall.
Weeping, by dawn. Hopeless, by midnight.
 She weeps for her son at war.
 A map of torture, awaiting the letters of pain,
Torture comes and never leaves till the next letter comes.
Lest we forget
 Death rushes as quickly as water down a raging river,
Frightened, weak, sad, with despair.
Death come more quickly than expected. Life of a soldier By Olivia Scholte